“It’s that person – he’s the reason I’m so miserable.”

       Sounds familiar?

       We say things like that all the time. But let me ask you: is that really true?

       We often find ourselves pinning our pain on someone else:

       “What he said upset me,” or “What she did ruined my day.”

       When we point fingers at others, the problem seems simple. It feels like we’ve found the answer: “Well, it’s obviously his fault! How could I possibly be the one in the wrong?”

       But admitting that we might be the one causing our own suffering? That’s a bitter pill to swallow.

       The best way to overcome this is to cultivate the Right View. The first aspect of the Right View is realizing that we are solely responsible for everything that happens to us. All our suffering and happiness are ours alone; no one can experience it on our behalf. Our suffering is, in essence, the suffering of our own mind. So, who is capable of causing our mind to suffer? It can only be ourselves.

       When you claim that others’ words hurt you, they can only do so with your consent. You may hear the words, but they only have power over you if you let them in. If you refuse to give that consent – if you simply tune them out– they can’t touch you. It’s that simple.

       The code to a happy life and the agency over your destiny must remain firmly in your own hands. This code is karma – the law of cause and effect. It is a fundamental Buddhist knowledge: all phenomena are manifestations of the mind, and everything we experience is of our own making.

       Just as honest advice is harsh to the ear and good medicine is bitter to the taste, we must accept that because everything is our own making, we cannot shirk responsibility. We must be the one to solve our own problems.

       Complaining is the easy way out. You just blame someone else for your problems.

       But by doing that, you’re giving away the key to your own joy. You think you’ve handed it over to them, but they don’t even want it. They’re busy living their own lives and don’t care about yours.

       So where did the key go? It’s been discarded, lost in the middle of nowhere. By throwing away the key to your own happiness, you’ve trapped yourself  in a gloomy room with no way out. Imagine the toll that takes on you. So, the key to unlocking the gate to your happiness is realizing that you alone must own your experience.

(Translated by the Pure Land School Translation Team;
edited by Householder Fojin)