Q: Why do we sometimes feel so deeply alone?

A: It’s not just sometimes. I believe we are always alone. Recognizing this is essential to living an awakened life, one attuned to the truth of existence.

       “Always alone?  Isn’t that hard to bear?”

       Indeed, and that is why so many of us fill our lives with noise and distraction - to escape the reality of isolation.

       Loneliness, in truth, is the fundamental reality of life. We are solitary beings,  unable to fully confide in another or have anyone who wholly understands the depths of our inner world. Even couples who share the same bed remain separated by an unbridgeable divide. Between parent and child, or even the dearest of friends, there are depths of the heart that no one can reach. No one can truly comfort the loneliness that lies within us.

       The Infinite Life Sutra states plainly: “Amid worldly desires and attachments, we come and go alone, are born alone, and die alone.”

       We are all intrinsically alone. Each person’s life unfolds according to their karma,, and no one else can bear responsibility for another’s existence.

       So why do we feel this isolation so acutely? It is because we have drifted far from our Buddha nature – the home, the essence, the source of life. We are like travelers lost in a foreign land, or leaves torn from their tree, carried by the wind and lying cold on the ground – rootless and forlorn.

       Only by returning to our Buddha nature, the true origin of our life, can we dissolve this loneliness.

       In daily life, we sometimes feel profoundly alone, and other times we don’t. Ironically, it is when we feel alone that we become more keenly aware of life’s deeper truths. When we don’t feel this way, it’s often because we immerse ourselves in constant stimulation, losing ourselves in crowds, much like a drunken person who no longer cares whether they are lonely or not.

       As social beings, we fear loneliness and yearn for connection through social activities. The feeling of loneliness is terrifying, unbearable and deeply painful. To escape it, many turn to thrills, sports, intoxicants, travel, relationships, marriage, or family. Yet these are merely temporary distractions that fail to address the root cause of loneliness.

       “We are born alone and die alone.” At the end of life, we face profound loneliness and fear, with no one to accompany us on our final journey. What lies ahead is a great mystery. We must leave behind the glitzy, familiar world and walk the last mile alone. This deep sense of isolation is the hardest to endure.

       For some, this existential loneliness becomes overwhelming. Many fall into depression or other forms of mental distress. Sensitive poets, writers, and artists often feel this disconnection so acutely that they are crushed under its weight, with some tragically ending their lives in despair.

       People of faith often find solace in their connection with the divine. Throughout history, this relationship has provided comfort amid life’s struggles, including loneliness.Yet, there remains a separation – a duality: the self on one side, and the deity on the other. While this connection can soothe the heart, it is not the ultimate answer.

       True liberation comes only when we awaken to our Buddha nature and realize our oneness with all existence. In that awakening, we discover profound peace, freedom, and a sense of being deeply grounded.

       In the Pure Land tradition, practitioners recite Amitabha’s name, aspiring to be reborn in the Land of Ultimate Bliss. This practice is rooted in faith, the assurance that Amitabha’s vow will carry us to a realm where suffering ceases, and we ultimately attain Buddhahood – and loneliness will vanish forever.

       Even in this very life, we can experience our unity with the Buddha. Though we remain ordinary beings, we are already embraced by Amitabha’s infinite compassion. In that oneness with the Buddha, loneliness no longer haunts us.

       Those who devote themselves to reciting Amitabha’s name may lack eloquent words to describe life’s happiness, dignity, and value – yet their lives are rich, complete, and joyful. They have transcended the suffering of separation from Buddha-nature. By taking refuge in Amitabha, the Buddha of Infinite Light and Life, we find our way home to our true nature, bringing deep spiritual solace. When loneliness stirs in our hearts, we should rejoice – it is Buddha-nature calling us. But when we forget loneliness amidst life’s distractions, we are most deeply lost and numb.

       A poem asks: “ When the final beat of gongs and drums fades into silence– where then is home?”

       Picture yourself beneath the stage lights wrapped in the spell of story. You are the emperor, the minister, the lover, the fool. The drama unfolds, each gesture precise, each word rehearsed. All is well.

       But then - a final crash of cymbals, a lingering echo - The curtain falls. The makeup is wiped away. And you? You step off the stage. But to where?

       In this life, we wear many names: wife, husband, child, victor, wanderer. Even the humble soul plays a part in the great masquerade. Yet when death arrives - unannounced, unyielding - it commands:

“Enough. The show is over. King Yama calls.”

       That is the hour when “the drums fall silent.

       So I ask you - when the illusion dissolves, when the role is no longer yours to play - where will you return? Where, then, is home?

       May all sentient beings recite Namo Amitabha Buddha and return to their true Buddha nature - the very source of life itself.

(Translated by the Pure Land School Translation Team;
edited by Householder Fojin)